Dear Kathleen: Long Distance Relationship?

2

September

Dear KathleenI am about to begin my freshman year in college and I?m torn on whether or not to stay with my boyfriend of one year. We?ll only be two hours away from each other so it?s not really long distance. What are your thoughts on entering college in a relationship? Do you think it could work? Will it be impossible to stay faithful after the first booze filled weekend? Help!Sincerely, Freshman

Dear Freshmen in a Fog,

No, relationship is as easy as ?LEAVE IT TO BEAVER? made it seem. like all good things in life, they require work. it doesn?t matter if he?s two hours or 30 minutes away if you don?t go to the same school its long distance. And with distance comes its good friend, stress. You thought the SAT?s were hard? Just wait until time and distance start testing your relationship, especially if you?ve only been together for a year. ?I know in high school having a girlfriend or boyfriend for 365 days is like totally serious and you?ve already discussed marriage, where you?re going to live and what you?ll name your children but in the real world a year isn?t long enough to develop a rock solid bond that doesn?t include reality TV and English homework. Survival depends on how strong that bond is on both ends.

All chips need to be in for the relationship to work. The situation has to be entirely addressed and all grey areas must be colored in. that means don?t leave opportunity for either of you to pursue temptation. so in case you decide to pop in for a surprise visit and find him in bed with a freshman for the day, you can?t be mad because no stipulations were set. so many times in these situations couples will leave their relationships ?open?. ?Oh, well we?re going to stay together, talk every day, and visit but we?re free to hook up with other people.? What fantasy world are you living in? ?You can?t have an open relationship with someone you were previously committed too. See, we have these things called feelings and they often stir up emotions like jealousy and resentment which could possibly lead to people acting rash and completely out of character or to put it bluntly?crazy.

Before any idea of a commitment is discussed you?need to make sure this is what everyone wants. it honestly isn?t impossible to stay faithful in college if that?s what you really want. if you?re not in it to win it then don?t even bother playing. whatever choice you make just be sure you?re doing it for the right reasons. Don?t feel obligated to stay in the relationship just because you guys had a good year. The only person you?re obligated to is yourself. You?re young, if there isn?t a ring, kids or a mortgage just worry about making yourself happy. Sounds pretty selfish? Huh? well, guess what this is the time it?s ok to be. it doesn?t mean you won?t hurt others along the way but in your life you will come to a choice ? Do I want to be happy? And live for myself while I can? or Do I want to dedicate my entire life to making others happy by sacrificing my wants and needs? No matter what you decide questions over your decision will always linger. College is transition, allow yourself to grow, whether it?s with somebody or by yourself.

Kathleen Battista?is CampusSplash?s advice columnist extraordinaire.

Tags: Human Interest, relationship, freshmen
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